Overcoming Our Adulterous Hearts | Matthew 5:27-32
Jesus leads us through three steps toward overcoming our adulterous hearts: (1) recall the limitation: adultery; (2) grasp the implication: desire and divorce; and (3) adopt the application: amputation. This sermon is part 4 of “Messiah's Righteousness,” Bryan Craddock’s verse-by-verse sermon series on Matthew 5.
Sometimes fences stand in the way of getting what you want. Think of goats at a petting zoo. They press their faces into narrow openings and stretch out their tongues pleading for a morsel of food as you walk by. That behavior makes sense if it is their only way to eat. But what if there is an abundant supply of feed waiting for them in the middle of the pen?
Have they decided that the best treats are always outside? Are they bored with the available food? Do they crave excitement? Do they see the fence as an unreasonable restriction? Do they think that the farmer is cruelly holding them back? They're just goats! But those are ways that we, as humans, often respond to the boundaries set by God’s commandments.
The serpent reasoned with Eve that way in the garden of Eden. The Lord had forbidden Adam and Eve from eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. But Genesis 3:4-6 tells us,
But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
The consequences of that distorted logic were disastrous. Adam and Eve immediately experienced guilt and fear. Conflict, pain, sorrow, and death became part of their existence. Worst of all, they were cut off from the presence of God. As their descendants, we still live under that curse.
So, you would think that we would know better, but we still fall prey to the same foolish reasoning as we consider God’s commands. Even if we stop short of crossing the line, we often act like those goats pressing the boundaries as far as we can, particularly when it comes to biblical teaching about sex and marriage.
Matthew 5:27-32 tells us how Jesus confronts this problem in his Sermon on the Mount. He leads us to see that we all have adulterous hearts. Our self-righteous pride might lead us to reject that diagnosis, but admitting it is the only way for us to overcome it. Only then will we look to Jesus as the one who fulfills the law for us and enables us to change. So, he leads us through three steps toward overcoming our adulterous hearts just as he did with murder in the previous passage. We must recall the limitation, grasp the implication, and adopt the application. He begins with the Seventh Commandment.
Recall the Limitation
Adultery
Sometimes two trees grow together. They are not simply touching. They become biologically grafted together so that their vascular systems are integrated. So, even though they sprouted from separate roots and maintain distinct genetic identities, they can begin to function in many ways as one tree.
Something similar is supposed to happen in marriage. You might consider this a “sappy” analogy, and it most certainly is! But it helps us understand God’s reason for setting the limitation of adultery. Jesus recalls it in Matthew 5:27 by saying,
You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
God drew the line by saying that a married person should not have sex with someone other than their spouse. Some people reject that limitation as an oppressive, arbitrary restriction. But even many who affirm it think of it in a superficial way that allows them to excuse behavior that pushes the boundary. We will return to that problem in a moment. First, we need to see that God’s prohibition of adultery is based upon the spiritual reality of marriage.
Genesis 2 tells us how God made Eve and brought her to Adam in the garden of Eden. Then verses 24-25 define marriage by saying,
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
In biblical marriage, one man and one woman are supposed to become one flesh. Even though they have different family roots, God’s design is for them to become united by growing together emotionally and spiritually. In Ephesians 5:28-30, Paul explains how this oneness should shape their relationship. He says,
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
The reality of being one flesh should lead a husband to selflessly love his wife. Their care for one another should be mutual, but Paul particularly challenges men to follow the sacrificial example of Christ. They have a responsibility to lead their wives by providing for them and protecting them with gentleness, warmth, and compassion. Wives should respond in a supportive way by respecting their husband’s leadership and submitting to it.
But there is more to being one flesh. In 1 Corinthians 7:2-4, Paul relates it to a couple’s sexual relationship. There was a lot of immorality in Corinth. Some Christians reacted by saying that it would be more spiritual to abstain from sex completely. Paul refutes that idea by saying,
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
So, the one flesh relationship of marriage is supposed to be exclusive. It establishes a sense of ownership, and it is not one way. A wife belongs to her husband, and a husband belongs to his wife. That mutual ownership should lead them to serve one another by cultivating a healthy sexual relationship that helps them both resist temptation.
So, if one of them were to engage in sex with someone else, it would violate that ownership. That is part of the problem with adultery. But there is more to it. As I mentioned, there was a lot of immorality in Corinth. The city was known for having a lot of prostitutes, and other Christians in Corinth were arguing that what you do with your body doesn’t really matter. Like many people today, they likened sex to eating, nothing more than a way to fulfill your body’s needs. But Paul uses the one flesh idea from Genesis to refute them. In 1 Corinthians 6:15-18, he says,
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
God designed sex exclusively for the establishment of a one flesh relationship. So, even one instance of intercourse with a prostitute creates a bond. Any sexual activity outside of marriage joins people together. The connection may not be deep, but when people simply move on it causes damage. It’s like ripping those conjoined trees apart. Paul describes it as a sin against your own body.
He says it also has implications for our relationship with the Lord. It is inconsistent for someone who is united with Christ to unite themselves to a prostitute. God wants us to be fully devoted to him, and the exclusive devotion of marriage is supposed to reflect that. God designed it as an object lesson.
Paul mentioned that idea in the verses we just read from Ephesians 5. He compared the relationship of husband and wife to that of Christ and the church. The same analogy is also used in the Old Testament. The people of Israel were often described as being married to the Lord. So, when they worshiped the false gods of other nations, the prophets condemned it as adulterous (Ezk 16).
To sum up then, God draws the line at adultery because it damages the one flesh relationship of marriage, it hurts the individual, and it distorts our devotion to him. But there are also dangers in pushing that boundary. Jesus addresses them in his next step.
Grasp the Implication
Desire & Divorce
The old saying is that the grass is always greener on the other side. It is seldom true, but it almost always seems that way. When you stand in your own yard, you look down and see all the weeds and bare patches. Your neighbor’s yard might be just as bad, but you can’t tell that from a distance. From your point of view, it appears lush and green.
Focusing on “the other side” feeds our sense of discontent with a lot of things in life, particularly our sexuality and our marital situation. When we are frustrated with our circumstances, we look elsewhere and assume that it would be far better. We are tempted to push against the prohibition of adultery, but Jesus wants us to grasp the implications for both desire and divorce. In Matthew 5:28, he says,
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Most of our English Bible translations use the word “lust” here. But the original Greek term is not so specific. It could simply be translated as desire or even covet. In fact, it is the same word that is used in the Greek translation of the Tenth Commandment. Exodus 20:17 says,
You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.
Why is this connection important? First, it shows us that Jesus is not presenting a new idea. This desire for someone other than your spouse was already confronted in the Ten Commandments.
Seeing this connection with coveting also exposes one of the ways we push against the boundary of adultery. We tend to relegate the word “lust” to behaviors like viewing pornography or fantasizing about sex with someone other than your spouse. Those are clearly adulterous desires, and we should not minimize their seriousness. But it is just as adulterous to look at someone else’s spouse and fantasize about how much more fulfilling a relationship with them might be because of their wealth, their fun personality, their emotional tenderness, or even their spirituality.
God’s prohibition of adultery is not just about sex. The goal of that commandment is unwavering devotion to your spouse. So, Jesus identifies a second implication in Matthew 5:31-32. He says,
It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
The quote that he shares here is drawn from Deuteronomy 24:1-4, but it is not exact. He is summing up the way some Jewish rabbis interpreted that passage. One school taught that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason as long as he gave her a certificate of divorce. They even used the example of her burning his dinner. But that’s not the point of the passage.
Deuteronomy 24 addresses a couple who divorce from each other, marry other people, then divorce those people and want to marry each other again. It forbids that kind of flippant relationship hopping. Matthew 19:3-9 tells us that the Pharisees asked Jesus about this passage on another occasion. He told them that Moses allowed divorce because of their hardness of heart, but from the beginning it was not so.
So, the rabbinical interpretation that Jesus sums up here was pressing the boundaries. They were looking for gaps or loopholes to get what they wanted. Perhaps they were just men who wanted a way to justify getting a new wife. But there is another side to pressing the boundaries with divorce. Sometimes people do it because they or someone they know is in a bad marriage, and they are looking for a way out. It’s hard to approach the issue of divorce impartially, but we must seek to understand Jesus’ words.
His fundamental argument is that one way or another divorce always ends up violating God’s prohibition of adultery. That is obvious when a man leaves his wife to pursue another woman. But Jesus argues that this man’s action forces his ex-wife into adultery. A woman seldom had the option to remain single in that culture. She would need to marry someone else, but doing so would violate her one flesh relationship with her husband who left her. Thus she and her new husband would both be committing adultery.
But what about when Jesus says, “except on the ground of sexual immorality”? A few people claim that since he says immorality rather than adultery, this exception clause refers to the discovery that a wife was sexually active before marriage. So, for instance, Joseph wrongly thought that this was the case when Mary became pregnant with Jesus before their marriage.
But I’m not convinced that the term “sexual immorality” is that specific. It seems to be used in a more generic way throughout the New Testament. So, I think that Jesus is simply saying that divorce is not the cause of adultery when the one flesh relationship has already been violated.
We must read this divorce passage in the context of Matthew 5. Jesus was not explaining when divorce is permissible. His argument is that we all fall short of God’s perfect standard. If we look to this passage to justify our actions, we’re missing the point. As we saw last time, we all have murderous hearts. Here his point is that we all have adulterous hearts expressed in our desires and in situations of divorce. No one is righteous. We are all sinners.
We need someone else to fulfill God’s Law for us, and in Matthew 5:17, Jesus said that he came for that purpose. One day he will return to reign, bringing true justice and perfect peace. None of us deserve to be a part of that kingdom, but through his death he made atonement for our sin. Through his perfect obedience, he makes it possible for us to be clothed in his righteousness.
No matter what your background is, you can receive this salvation through placing your faith in him. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Paul says,
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Nothing is gained through playing the game of self-justification. The implication of desire and divorce is that we all have adulterous hearts. But we can be washed, sanctified, and justified through Christ. By the power of the Spirit, we can also begin to overcome our adulterous hearts. How? Jesus uses a shocking analogy to guide us.
Adopt the Application
Amputation
When I began serving as a pastor, I was not prepared for all the medical talk. Some people want to share all the gory details about their surgical procedures. Once smart phones came along, they started showing me pictures! Eventually, the trauma wore off for me. Now the most serious operations seem like a normal everyday part of modern medical practice.
People were probably not that complacent in ancient times. Without antibiotics or modern anesthesia, surgery was a last ditch desperate effort to spare someone’s life. Jesus wants us to adopt that desperate mindset about overcoming our adulterous hearts. He calls us to practice spiritual amputation. In Matthew 5:29-30, he says,
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
It seems obvious that Jesus was not speaking literally. But there have occasionally been people throughout history who applied these verses in a physical way. There are stories of men who had themselves castrated to overcome their sexual desires, but I doubt that it helped. The problem is not physical. It’s not your eye or your hand or any other part of your anatomy that causes you to sin. It’s your spiritual heart. Matthew 15:19 tells us that Jesus said,
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
So, our adulterous desires cannot be overcome by changing our external circumstances. You could enforce rules about how people dress and interact, as they do in some Muslim countries, but that will not change your heart. You could practice extreme self-discipline. You could isolate yourself in a cave. But you will still take those desires along with you.
We need a new heart, and the Prophet Ezekiel foretold that God would supply it. In Ezekiel 36:26-27, the Lord promises to remove people’s heart of stone and to give them a new heart and a new spirit. Jesus had something similar in mind when he said that you must be born again (Jn 3:3). Thankfully, in 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul tells us,
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
So, we cannot begin to overcome our adulterous hearts apart from salvation. We need this new life in Christ to be set free from our old self. Yet even with this transformation, we must learn to walk in this life. We tend to fall back into the same old habits and thought patterns. So, those are the things that must be amputated for us to change.
In Ephesians 4:22-24, Paul explains this procedure. He instructs believers,
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
We must cut off the habits and thought patterns that provoke adulterous desires. If you can avoid circumstances that lead you into temptation, then do so. In Job 31:1, for instance, Job speaks of having made a covenant with eyes not to gaze at a virgin. We find another example in Proverbs 5:8, where Solomon warns his son about the forbidden woman and says,
Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house.
As we seek to cut off those old ways, we must renew our minds to think biblically. On a practical level you must be selective in what you read, what you watch. Overcoming our adulterous hearts requires more than simply knowing that adultery and sexual immorality are wrong. We must come to view life, relationships, marriage, and sexuality from God’s perspective as we are trying to do today. In 1 Timothy 5:1-2, for example, Paul tells Timothy,
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
Timothy was probably young and single. If so, it would be easy for him to look at every young woman as a potential partner. But God sees the church as a family. So, Timothy needed to think of younger women, first and foremost, as sisters in the Lord. Countless scandals in church history could have been prevented, if men maintained this outlook.
We must put off old thoughts and habits, renew our minds, and then put on new ways of living that align with God’s character. Perhaps the most basic attitude to cultivate in overcoming our adulterous hearts is contentment. This outlook flows out of the belief that God is good, sovereign, and wise. Whatever our relational circumstances may be, we can trust his plan.
Paul speaks at length about this mindset in 1 Corinthians 7. There is too much there to cover today, but let me sum it up by saying there are good things about being single and good things about being married. We must learn to recognize and give thanks for those blessings rather than always focusing on what we wish was different.
A big part of putting on the new self in marriage is learning to walk in love. Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 to describe how believers should love everyone. But his words serve as a practical guide for a strong marriage. He says,
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
When a husband and wife commit themselves to loving one another this way by the power of the Holy Spirit that one flesh relationship grows strong. Of course, sometimes that is not the case. Sometimes one person is walking with the Lord and the other is not. When conflicts arise, the faithful person should do everything possible to pursue reconciliation and forgiveness, even in cases of adultery. The Lord gives us a powerful example to follow in the story of the Prophet Hosea.
When someone professes to be a believer, but refuses to repent or to reconcile, help should be sought from the church as Jesus describes in Matthew 18:15-17. That may seem like an extreme move, but it is consistent with what Jesus says about spiritual amputation. We must all be committed to putting off sin and putting on the character of Christ together.
__________
To overcome our adulterous hearts, we must recall the limitation. God prohibits adultery because he designed marriage as a one flesh relationship. We must grasp the implication that even when we stop short of that boundary our desires can be adulterous and that we should never play games with divorce. We must adopt the application of spiritual amputation. We need a new heart. Even after we receive that new life, we must do all that we can to put off adulterous desires, to renew our minds, and to put on Christlike love.
As we saw earlier, this all starts with faith in Christ. Because of his death on the cross, we can be cleansed of our sins and reconciled with God. We can receive new life to walk by the power of the Spirit. If you have never placed your faith in him, I invite you to do so today. If you would like to learn more about how his love transforms us and our relationships, I encourage you to read Ephesians 5.
If you’re a believer, is there a sinful habit or thought pattern that you need to cut off? Repent and turn away from that behavior. Renew your mind. Change your thinking and seek to put on Christ-like character. May we all grow to reflect the holiness and love of Christ!
Reflect
How does this passage change your thinking about marriage?
How does this passage change your thinking about sex?
What could you do to better flee immorality and glorify God in your body and soul (1 Cor 6:18-20)?